Dem Voices Volume #55

When should you come out as Trans in Politics?

I am Trans, and I have a lot that I want to do. For many of you, half of that sentence may come as a surprise. I know, I know, it’s crazy to hear that I have a lot I want to accomplish. But right now, I want to talk about my decision to come out as non-binary and the thought process many Queer people in politics go through when they decide whether to come out.

Every Queer person is confronted with the question: “Would you rather keep everyone in your life and guarantee that you are ‘loved’ and ‘accepted,’ or live as you are and risk losing your entire world?” I found my answer by making small changes at a time. I started to dress more femininely, I wore more jewelry, I shaved my legs (after it was pants season, so no one knew), I changed my name to Jo, I started to use they/them pronouns, I updated my social media bios, and all the while I felt a weight lift, and I met myself for the first time.

As a result, the truth I have come to find in my personal life is that any friend or family that won’t love me as Transgender does not love me now. They love the mask I created for them to love. So, if (or more likely when) someone does not love and support me as my authentic self, they will no longer be entitled to be a part of my life, and it is their loss. Politics, however, is not so cut and dry.

About a year ago, I was in my second year of law school. Republicans across the country were waging war on Trans children, supportive parents, LGBTQ+ teachers, and good doctors for the crime of existing in their society. Every day of this onslaught, I have heard the question at the top of this page louder and louder. By the summer, I knew I wanted to forgo law school for the time being to return to politics full-time and fight against this bigotry. But would I do it as a proud Trans person?

For anyone in the closet in politics, three things are clear:

1. I have conversations and opportunities I wouldn’t have if I were out.

2. f I were out, the bigoted people I negotiate with now would only become more obstinate.

3. There are people that want Queer people dead.

There is not one right way to address these concerns, and everyone who transitions will have to come to terms with them in their own way. Personally, I’ve found a lot of solace in talking to friends in the industry, a great therapist, and my ever-growing list of things I’d like to accomplish.

So, when is the right time to come out as Trans in politics? When you are ready. Maybe it's after you see some results from Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), maybe it’s before you ever start a career in politics, or maybe it’s after a long, fruitful career making the world a bit better.

For me, it's now. The week I start HRT.

For those of you that don’t know, starting HRT basically means I’ve signed up to go through puberty again. It means my body will change, my face will clear up, my skin will smooth, my voice might rise, and (not that I can really afford it) I’ll probably start to look younger. This is the right decision for me now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t change one day. That’s the beauty of life; no one knows exactly how your life will go, least of all yourself. What I do know is my name is Jo Miller and I am a Transfeminine non-binary bisexual who has a lot they want to do.

Sincerely, Jo Miller

P.S. Whether or not you are out, if you are a Queer person in politics, give me a call. I'd love to talk.

Young Dem of the Month

Charisse N. Watts was born in the City of Rahway and raised in Plainsboro, NJ. In 2020, she graduated from Rowan University with her Bachelor of Arts in Modern Language and Linguistics, minoring in Asian Studies and International Studies. During her undergraduate studies, she mentored, tutored, and studied in Shanghai China where she was a volunteer teaching English to the inner city youth. Her passions include improving our education system, making healthcare choices and information readily accessible to all, and encouraging others to reach their fullest potential. Charisse has served in Governor Phil Murphy’s office and was a part of his winning re-election campaign. Her current role is that of policy advisor for Senator Troy Singleton.

Charisse was among the few selected to be a fellow of the Robert J. Thompson Leadership Academy with The Council of State Government. Charisse was also chosen to be a youth facilitator for the New Jersey Martin Luther King Commission Youth Conference.